Look...

I am not saying that so and so is "lucky", OK? (I mean my married friend). I mean, I design floors now. Now I know what that is like. I wanted to for a long time, but didn't get to. Now, I get to - and it is actually really thorny! Seriously! And when I get to get married and have a family, I know it is going to be thorny. I mean, I look forward to it more than I could ever say, but I am not there yet and that is OK. What I consider not to be OK is the time figure "ıiıi....ı...ıı.i..iiiıiiıi."! Time figures like that REALLY test my will to want to live!

Sincerely,

Daniel

By the way...

...do you know how many times in a day I have to tell myself I don't want to... and then I have to deliberately put the word... "die"... on purpose? A lot! And I mean, a lot! I get so weary of having to do that. "It is not good for the man to be alone, OK?"

Sincerely,

Daniel

I am at work... - revised again!

...alone right now, so I thought I would put a quick post here to request prayer. I would ask my friend if he is up for a chat, but I think he may be at his church right now, and not available. When I am at work alone, I do what I can to let other people know of the situation. Otherwise, it can turn awry. Also, I love being single, but also really am at my wits' end. When I finally get married I want to remember what the author of "I'm Tired of Waiting" says to do: don't forget single people. Even what it was like to be single. Remember them. Include them. Make room and time for them, because you already know how much they need it! And, of course, she knows enough to write that because she was single for such a long time before it finally worked out for her.

Another thing: I was reading I Kings 1 this morning, and I thought: see - David already had, not just "a wife" - he had "wives". And, yet, do ye know who he got? "A iıiiıııii.iı"! If he could have a "iıiiıııii.iı" like that, then I ask: why I can I not have one of the "ıı..ıiı.i..ıiıi....iıiiii.iiııi..ıii" of "..iıı....
i.iıiii..iii..iıi."? (Of course, on a time frame that I find reasonable - and, by all means, I am, of course, willing to do what I can ... and even have to, within reason, to make it work). My personal prayer is that I will be able to take a shot at it; in Jesus' name, amen!

Sincerely,

Daniel

I finally got to...

...talk to my good friend on the phone last week. It had been such a long time! As I said to him, it was good to talk to him again. I did notice, however, that there came a point where he obviously felt the need to get off the phone. The conversation ended with what I would call a "falling intonation"; and I certainly pray that all will be well, in Jesus' name. Amen.

Sincerely,

Daniel

I was thinking today...

...that seeing wanting to die is not an option, I have to find a way to live. Even if I have to make mistakes in the process. Please rest assured, however, that - at the end of the day - that is all I am trying to do: find a way to live. Other people seem to be able to get married and have families somehow or other. For me, it has been a struggle - and I do feel weary; but I know it will work out, one way or another.

Sincerely,

Daniel

I certainly do not think... - revised!

...that there is anything wrong with "it" (that which I referred to in my last post). In fact, I watched...

MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN

...last night and I kept thinking: "I... would love to... (here comes more code)

..."iı..ıi.iıi.i"...

(again, this is going out on a limb, but, then again, the movie definitely tells the story of someone who did JUST THAT!)

..."..iıı....iıiiıııii.iı"...

Now, in one sense, "ıi.iı.i.." already "iıııi." "..iıı....iıiiıııii.iı". It is simply that, as much as I love "ii.i..iıı..ıiıi" the "ı.i..ıiiı.iıi..", I know of people who are "iiiı.i..ııiı" and "ı.i..ıiiı.iıi.." AND "iı.ı.iıi.ii.iii..ıi.i" and "ı.ıiııi.ıi..". And, in my case, I am also a "ii.ıii.ıiıiıiı.i..ıii" already! It is - again - simply that I would love to be a "ii.ıii.ıiıiıiı.i..ıii" to certain "iıiiıııii.iııi.", which do NOT have "iii...ii.ıii.ıiıiıiı.i..ıii" ... at least, that is, "..ı.ıiıiı...ıı.i..ıiı"! And when I say "..ı.ıiıiı...ıı.i..ıiı", I mean "ii.iıı.ıi.iı.ıiiıiiııiiıiii.iı...ii.ıii.ıiıiıiı.i..ıii"!

Make no mistake! I am NOT suggesting I become their "iiii.i.ıi.ı.ıiıiııı..i.....ii.ıii.ıiıiıiı.i..ıii" as a "iı.ı.iii.ıi.ıiıiıııiıı.iıiıi.."! By all means! HAVE YOUR OWN! Still! "Even now?" Ye may say; to which I would reply: ABSOLUTELY! Abram and Sarai were a whole lot older than you, and THEY STILL HAD THEIR OWN "ıi..ıi..ı..ıi.."! Look! If AbraHAM (see what a difference it makes to be CALLED A DIFFERENT NAME?) could have the faith to NOT CONSIDER THE DEADNESSE OF SarAH's (see? There it is again! A NEW NAME!) womb; then what is stopping "ıı..ıiı.i" from following their good example! Oh, again! HAVE "ıı.i.....ıı..ıiı.iıii...ıi..ıi..ı..ıi.."! Better yet! "ıi..ıi..ı..ıi..ıi."!

I mean, "ıı.i.." already HAVE "i..iiiiiıiı.....ıiıiıiı.i..ıii"! Now, in my opinion, all "ıı.i.." need is "i.ıiiiiıııiıiı."!

Now, ye may say, "we have already HAD that"! And so have I! I have DEFINITELY "already had" "i.ıiiiiıııiıiı." - and, friends? "ii.ıii.ıiıiıiı.i..ıii" and "ıi.iıııi.ıiıi..ıii"? I am NOT! And I mean" NOT! "..iiiiıiiıiiiııi..i.i...ıı.i..ıiı"! And it HURTS! Excruciating pain! Loneliness! Agony! Howling wilderness! I mean, it is like a horse that CAN... NOT... EVEN... GET... OUT... OF... THE... STARTING... BLOCKS!

So excuse me while I reserve the right to be so bold as to challenge YOU to KEEP BELIEVING! EVEN NOW! I sure am having to! And "iıı....iı.ıiı..i.....ıı..ıiı.i"! And even "ıiıiı.i....i"! And even "iı.i..ıii"! And, as I starting out saying, would love to "iı..ıi.iıi.i...iı.i..ıii"! "..iiiiıı....iıı"? ".ı..iıi..iiiıi.i.."?

That is the...

MIRACLE FROM HEAVEN

...that I am currently praying for - and I am going to get down on my hands and knees with my face to the floor and pray for it right now! Here at the public library! Ready? Here we go!...

Done!

Love,

Daniel!

(Psalm LXXXI.10)

Here is the thing, though...

...the whole reason I am so keen on "this" (i.e. what I have asked for and been denied) is that I have seen how happy I am able to make certain people! How can there be anything wrong with wanting to make people happy like that?

Daniel

Of course, however,...

...the last thing I would ever want to do is presume. I know, it may seem like I am redefining the term; but I feel I would do anything to have you do as I have asked. One question, I, again, ye may have is, as they say in Korean: "어떻게"? Or, "eot-teoh-geh"? In other words, "How?" "How would that ever work?" My two cents is: "somehow". From my end, I think it would be so good, it would make all the necessary figuring out worthwhile.


This is my opinion, though; and I wait on God to overrule. I also - of course - acknowledge that I must respect whatever decision ye make - and even HAVE made! And it hasn't been what I have wanted, but I accept that! And I DEFINITELY want what is best for all involved. If pursuing THAT END means continued discomfort for me? So be it!


"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, or Jehovah, my strength, and my redeemer." Psalm XIX.14


Sincerely,


Daniel


P.S. I am happy to say that Boris has been a lot nicer to me at work and when giving me rides, for which I am thankful!

Sometimes...

...I don't see something coming - such as when someone from work was dropping me off, and I was getting my stuff together to get out; and it was my backpack plus two plastic grocery bags... and it was taking me a while to get it all together. And he said, "You're 'bleeped' up..." I definitely do not receive what he said; but if I could, I would ask - again - "iiıiii..ı...ıı.i.....iı..ıi.iıi.i.....ii..?" I know I am unusual, to say the least; but I definitely do not apologize for who I am.

Sincerely,

Daniel

And here is another thing...

...as unusual as my idea may have been, is it not a legitimate way for me to ".iı.ıiı..i.....ıiıiı.i..i.."? And, of course, "ıı..ıiı.i"? Especially when we remember that this world is absolutely lost, confused, and oblivious to true righteousness. Oh! By this world's standards? My idea was definitely out of the question - but far be it from me to consider myself a friend of the world! And, according to the apostle James, friendship with the world is enmity with God! This things that widespread fornication among young people - at younger and younger ages with the passing of time - is at least tolerable if not just plain "OK"! Well! I think it is sheer and utter wickedness! AND a recipe for disaster and even death! My idea? "In the integrity of my heart" did I present it. See, here is another thing this wicked world loves to promote: "legalizing prostitution." Me? I pray regularly for in-womb-infanticide, sodomy, prostitution, pornography, gambling, euthanasia, and (of COURSE) marijuana to be illegal! And, again! I Corinthians VII.36? ...".iıi..ıiı...ıiıiı.i....i.....iiiiıiiıiiıı.".

Daniel

P.S. I even happen to think the world NEEDS the kind of wake up call it would get if such a "..iiiiıiiıiiiııiiiiıii.." took place. Speaking of which, I should mention: technically, that would be: ..."iıı..ı....iıiiiı.ı".

See...

...I have been wanting to say what I have been saying, to "ıiıiı.i..i.." for such a long time, I simply HAD TO say it! I mean, I cannot be expected to hold it in for ever, can I? And, believe me! I held it in!

Daniel

Alright, so...

"..i.ıi..i"? (I am about to say it again here...) "iıı....iı.ıiı..i.....ıiıiı.i..i.."! I am going out on a really precarious limb here, though, and I pray that "ıiıiı..ıiı.i...ı.ıiıı.iııiı" appreciate that fact. For my part, I continue to appreciate the fact that I have been able to AFFORD to go out on such limbs with "ıiıiı.i..i.."! I recited Psalm CXIX in church this morning and I FORGOT A VERSE! "..i.ıi..i", that was SO FRUSTRATING! After all these DECADES of learning the practicing that psalm, I still skipped over a verse! If I could I would even ask "ıı..ıiı.i" (see? I'm pluralizing it now) to (as I have asked before, and met with "ıı..ıiı.iıii" gracious decline) "iı..ıi.iıi.i.....ii.."! ".ı..iıi..iiiıi.i.."?

Again! "iıı....iı.ıiı..i.....ıı..ıiı.i", OK?

Daniel

God...

...I continue to pray for help.

"Lord, all my desire is before thee, and my groaning is not hid from thee. My heart panteth. My strength faileth me - as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me." Psalm XXXIX.9-10

I just saw "Risen" for the third time today, and really enjoyed it. I am preparing to write the Professional Practice Exam for APEGA (the Engineering association in Alberta). I am also STILL having to insist on putting that bottom chord live load on Commercial trusses! Which reminds me! I should be looking for another place to work! Even just in case. I definitely should not have all my eggs in one basket right now.

One more thing: I definitely pray that God will not make me wait ten years to get married. I even pray that he will bring it to pass as soon as possible! In Jesus' name! Amen!

Sincerely,

Daniel

I did it! - revised

I watched "Inside Out" with described audio; which I have enjoyed doing with other movies as well (Disney, in particular). I was talking to my second cousin's wife last night (Marnie, whom I have mentioned in the past), and telling her a LOT more about my situation. She is SUCH an encouragement! Kind of like YOU! And, again: "iıı....iı.ıiı..i.....ıiıiı.i..i..:, "..i.ıi..i", if thou "ı.ıiii..ııiıi..ıi.ıiı" to "iiıi.."! And I really pray that "ıiıiı..ıiı.i...ı.ıiıı.iııiı" want to! In Jesus' name! Why? Because - again - "iıı....iı.ıiı..i.....ıiıiı.i..i.."! Even more than I could ever say! I am so glad I decided to Assistant Direct that camp way back when! I could have gotten engineering experience that summer; but obviously that would have to wait!

Sincerely,

Daniel

But,... - revised!

..of course, I know I cannot presume on that - and I pray God will preserve me from doing so - again - in Jesus' name! Amen! I just watched Inside Out with the Director's commentary, and was I ever amazed! I had NEVER heard a commentary like THAT! But I sure am glad that I have now! I may even watch the movie one last time tomorrow before I have to return it to the library. I do enjoy my freedom, but I also watched "Lava" again, as well! And that male volcano? That is ME!


I want to say something, but some of it is going to have to be "encoded". Sorry if this is a source of frustration, but necessity is the "..i.ıiıiıiı.i..ıii" of invention! Ready? Here it "cometh!" "I love 'ıiıiı.i..i..", "..i.ıi..i", if thou "ı.ıiii..ııiıi..ıi.ıiı" to "iiıi.."!


Daniel

P.S. "..i.ıi..i", if thou "ı.ıiii..ııiıi..ıi.ıiı" to "iiıi..", I am sorry; because not only did I write some of this post in code yesterday - but I just proofread it! And discovered I had made "spelling mistakes" in that code! I was in a hurry, and obviously did not have enough time to properly proofread it. Therefore, if you tried to solve the code, it may have been even more frustrating. I am sorry if it was. If not, great - but I do want you to know I care about how you feel! Here is a song I decided to look up just now:

"Steady my Heart"

Alright, so...

...I am thinking that I would really like to see and hold a certain "iıiiıııii.iı"; and I REALLY pray that that will be OK, in Jesus' name, amen.

Sincerely,

Daniel

Lava!

I had forgotten all about it! The DVD went straight from "Inside Out" into "Lava". At the theatre, "Lava" had always played FIRST, but obviously on the DVD, they reversed that! Every time I see THAT short film? It is a total "last verse of Psalm LXXXVI token for good"!

I ".iıiiiı..iii" you!

Daniel

...I mean,...

...as I have said many a time: I love you, OK? I pray that it is, because I really feel that I need it to be. I acknowledge that this is a feeling, but definitely a strong one and one that does not look to be going anywhere anytime soon - even ever! I, however should update some other blogs and then give my attention to "Inside Out", which I just borrowed from the library and am watching as I type this!

".iı.ıiı..i..",

"i.iiii..ıiııi...iı"

Another Britt Nicole Song!

Home! This time, the song she is doing is a cover! I just watched that video I shared last post, on the making of "Gold", and I thought: I know what I asked for last year was really unusual - even outrageously so! What, in particular? Oh, what I asked via three "loaded letters", to say the least! It sure, however, is the desire of my heart right about now. And I know Psalm XXVII.3ff goeth something like this:

"Trust in the LORD, or Jehovah, and do good - so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD, or Jehovah, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD, or Jehovah; trust also in him and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgement as the noonday sun. Rest in the LORD, or Jehovah, and wait patiently for him. Fret not..."

See, I see a lot of other guys "getting girls" - and no one seems to think there is anything wrong with that; or if they do think it is wrong, they at least seem pretty ambivalent about it. Well, when you have been waiting as long as I have, ambivalence is not an option! I know, however, thanks to this passage, that neither is fretting.

By the way, I just order "Flywheel", the movie, from Amazon. My landlord has not seen it yet, and he needs to, in my opinion. I also know of a "certain other friend", whom I convinced to watch "Flywheel". After watching it, I remember "her" saying to me, "That was really good...!" One of my favourite parts of that movie is when "she" quotes the above passage. As a matter of fact, any way I could suggest watching Flywheel again? Soon, God willing, I will have the DVD (again! Somehow, whatever copies I did have, have gone by the way side!)

One movie I DID finally get my landlord to watch was "A Dolphin Tale" (I was too shy to ask that we finish watching the credits, though, because it wasn't exactly my house or my television). I ALWAYS recommend watching THAT movie! I relate to that story so well! Sawyer, Winter. They meet each other's needs so perfectly.

That is what I want - a situation where I am able to pull a "certain verse from Proverbs XI": "The liberal soul shall be made fat - and he that watereth shall be watered also himself." Here is yet another song! Ready or Not! And another! All This Time! I mean, in this song, her grammar is off, by I sure know what she "meaneth". And, hey! If I am going to "correct her", then why not go all the way, right? (I pray "ye" will agree!) ""...It was 'thee and me'..."

There is no way I can presume, as I have said before, on a "change of mind", but I sure do pray for one. Not that I am holding my breath - simply that I would breathe a whole lot easier if there was one.

The Story Behind Gold

Sincerely,

Daniel