She did this - revised

Today, at work, I was listening to this song over and over. And I was thinking: she did this? Who? The girl, whose birthday I get to be there for tomorrow. See - as I have said - I had had to "die on a dime" to certain dreams (at least, the way I had been dreaming of them coming about). I mean, in a moment of time, I had to put myself in my friends' shoes, and I knew I would do what I was hoping they would. So - again - I dropped it; right then and there.


What I am thankful for is, we still went on our outing and had a great time; but when you have the kind of "forward momentum" I had, and then you just have to die to it, right then and there - it's traumatic!


So, there we were. The "outing" was over. And "they" were going to leave. Then, however, one of my good friends looked right at me, called me by name, and thanked me for suggesting the outing. I said, "...You're welcome..." Then, "she" (the girl)... "held my heart". At least, that is how I would describe it in retrospect.


I had given her a book for her birthday. And she held it up for me to see and beamed that it was her favourite book. I cannot think of a better way to "hold my heart" than that. I remember picking out that book for her, and thinking it was the right choice. To get confirmation like that, at a time like that? How can I describe it?

-...OK, so, whereas I remember this? I have since learned that it doesn't quite stick out in her memory like it does in mine. Oh well! Sometimes we don't realize how much we're impacting someone at the time!

She was definitely (as I have referred to before) "speaking life" to me - and I needed it! Again! I had just died on a dime earlier that day. Even now, I go back to that moment over and over, and derive life from that moment.


In fact: I AM on my knees! (At the library). Praying that I will be able to pull a Proverbs XI.25 tomorrow. "The liberal soul shall be made fat - and he that watereth shall be watered also himself."


"아버지 (Ah-Buh-Jeeh - or "Father"), please let me be a blessing. Let me water her, and them; and leave them better than I found them - and be watered also myself. I've said it before, and I'm saying it again: I don't know how I got here. I could never have imagined I would be here right now. I love it, but I do pray for help. Preservation. Wisdom. Discretion. Let me behave myself wisely and in a perfect way (Psalm CI.2). I believe for the best, but also pray for help with thus believing."


I am facing giants today; and my problems definitely look too big in the natural. The only way my dreams seem ...possible is when I take out the "im". I thank thee, however, for my past victories. For giving me the ability to kill lions and bears. To survive lions' dens. Thou hast brought me - Oh! So far. I may not have gotten married by my last birthday, but I sure had my "birthday nephew" crawl up to me (ON my last birthday, as I was still sleeping on the floor in my sister's and brother-in-law's living room)! And I THANK thee for the extra time to prepare. Help me to! And help me to get packed and to bed tonight! Nice and early. In Jesus name! Amen! And bless my friends, and give them all a good sleep tonight, too!


Love,


Daniel

Another welcome warning!

I haven't read it yet, but - God willing - I will; at the end of Proverbs XXVIIII.


"The churning of the milk bringeth forth butter, and the wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood; so the forcing of wrath bringeth forth strife."


-That was actually Proverbs XXX, or "thirty".




I really do think God has put be up to this, but if there ever was a minefield: this is it! Not that this is the first time. As the story goes, Esther could have died for going in before the king uninvited. Similarly, if I bring up some of the ideas I would love to bring up, I could get in trouble - just FOR bringing them up! It is as simple as that.


- Sorry! I meant to put "minefield" in the first place!




In Esther's case, however, she found favour. The king held out his scepter. It turned out to be a REALLY good thing she put it all on the line. Similarly, David defeated Goliath, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah survived the fiery furnace; and I actually thought of an idea for a T-shirt!


"I SURVIVED THE LIONS' DEN!"






I went in! When SEVERAL MEN had told me NOT to! To tuck tail and run. I would have none of it, however. In fact? I DID run! ...TO!... WORK!... That is how I have always approached my workplace in South Korea, whenever it has turned into a lions' den. A "David vs. Goliath" battle. I don't run AWAY from the giant! I run TOWARDS him!




That's my heart! To run towards my giant(s). By the way? David looked real good taking down Goliath. Decades later, however? David didn't look so good. In fact? He was FAINT! And one of Goliath's BROTHERS thought he had him. He "thought to have slain David." Then enters Abishai - David's nephew (who, by the way, on two different occasions, occasioned David to complain that the sons of Zeruiah were too much for him - that tells me that if God gives me a nephew who is "too much for me"? I had better keep in mind that he may very well one day save my LIFE!) What I love about that story, though, is - just like David lying there faint before Goliath's brother - I'm not seventeen anymore either! I won't pretend to be a "spring chicken" - but I take to heart that David was a FIGHTER to the VERY END! They had to tell HIM not to go out to battle anymore! And - hey! I can still do what I can! THAT, is what I pray I will be allowed to do - ...what... I... can.


See, I cannot do certain things I know others might expect me to do. I even admit that it is a mix of "cannot" and "want not to". That, however, in my opinion, is like a fish not wanting to fly like a bird, or a bird not wanting to swim like a fish. I love the Story by Dennis De Haan at the end of this blog post (maintained by "Marqueta", whom I have know, along with her husband and family, for years). I think it PERFECTLY illustrates what I am praying God will allow me to do. Again? "What... I... ...can. (At the end? When it says, "CAN" on the screen? That's him! Typing it by nodding his head to the side at the appropriate intervals!)


I don't know if I have Asperger's Syndrome or not (a mild form of Autism); but I sure know I am not normal! Not what I wish I was - just that just put my face to the floor again (here at the library) and made another one of my "secret petitions of the heart".


Love,

Daniel

Proverbs XXVIII and Psalm CXXXVIII!

I read them today, and thought I would love to share some verses from them!


"The wicked flee when no man pursueth, but the righteous are bold as a lion." Hooray! "Roar!"


"He that covereth his sins shall not prosper, but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them, shall find mercy."


"God, I did that. In fact, I did that FIERCELY! With FIERCE DETERMINATION! I fiercely feared THEE, and I came clean AGAINST ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE TRYING TO TALK ME OUT OF DOING SO! As I have said before, I put it ALL on the line, in order to be a man of integrity. Please, I pray thee, remember that, and remember me. As I have said before: I set (and HAVE set) my face like a FLINT! And I knew (and I KNOW) that I would not (and WILL not) be ashamed. Help me TO know that now - and no matter what a day bringeth 'foorth'. THANK THEE for the mercy, which HATH been replete! O - CONTINUE they lovingkindness..."


"THOUGH I 'WALKE' IN THE 'MIDS' OF TROUBLE, THOU WILT 'REUIUE', THOU SHALT STRETCH 'FOORTH' THINE HAND AGAINST THE WRATH OF MINE ENEMIES: AND...


...THY RIGHT HAND SHALL 'SAUE' ME.


The LORD, or Iehouah, 'wil' 'perfit' (1611 spelling of 'perfect') that which concerneth me - thy 'mercie', O LORD, endureth for 'euer'; forsake not the works' of thine own hands."


By the way: "Why deliberately spell words 'wrong'?" Back in 1611, it wasn't wrong. It was since then that we came up with standardized spellings, as we have; and by all means, they serve a purpose. I simply love being able to get a glimpse into the way they spelled words back then. I start to see "only" spelled, "ONEly" - and I say, "Hey! I love that! That's what 'only' means!" I have also been fascinated to get a better understanding of where "double-vee..." I mean "double-YOU" came from!


Sincerely,


Daniel

One More Song!

http://www.jasoncastromusic.com/album/only-mountain
...
"Rise to You" (You have to click on it, unless you want to listen to all the songs before it). I still remember when I discovered this song! I listened to it over and over at work! It was SO where I was at. It still is! See - on of my knees IS "busted". I.e. If I kneel on it the wrong way, it HURTS! It's probably from when I got knocked off my bike by a car in South Korea. It "healed", but - just like one of my elbows, in such a way that I get reminded every once in a while that I am - make no mistake! BROKEN!

Daniel

Psalms 120-131, and Proverbs 27

I just read them, and enjoyed them. Proverbs 27, however, was giving me a lot of - I think - timely warnings! And I welcome them! Every one! For example? 'BOAST NOT THY 'SELFE' OF TOMORROW! FOR THOU KNOWEST NOT WHAT A DAY MAY BRING 'FOORTH'!" (1611 spelling! I "LOUE" that spelling of "forth"! ;))

Hey! I'm listening to another amazing Ukulele Mandi song, and I'll have it shared!... Done!

Wow! Do I EVER NOT know what a day may bring "foorth"! "'Shiuer'-me-timbers!" Do I not know! But I "loue" that! It is so deliciously refreshing! The indeterminacy of it all! "Halleluiah!"...

...Hey! Here's one that REALLY "hitteth home"! "As a bird that wandereth from her nest, so is a man that wandereth from his place." Verse eight! Excuse me while I put my face to the floor... now!... I did.

I have a story. My nephew. Reuben (two years old). We were in Saskatoon, and at a restaurant, and I went out to my vehicle to get something. Emma (my niece of about six), and Reuben, my nephew, wanted to come - so they did. Emma was holding Reuben's hand as we walked out to the vehicle. It was "angle-parked" (I think), backing out onto the busy street behind. When we got to my vehicle, though, Reuben broke away from Emma and RAN OUT! BEHIND MY VEHICLE! I tried to "hem and haw" him back, but that wasn't working! He was actually? ENJOYING IT! Dancing around! Obviously OBLIVIOUS to the DANGER!

Well, I sure didn't mean anything but "Uncle-Nephew-love" when I did it, but I ROARED!

"REUBEN!"

And the poor boy started, stood there in a daze, and then bawled. I picked him up and stroked the back of his head! I was just SO glad there hadn't been a vehicle driving by! I shudder to imagine what could have happened!

Know ye? (A.k.a. "You know?") I got roared at like that in South Korea! LOUDLY! It was NOT fun! But I did need it, and I thank God for it! My prayer now, though, is that I will NOT... WANDER... FROM MY PLACE! Now - I know - some might say: Well, come on! Give me a break! Since when "dost 'thou' not"... "go out of 'thy' way..." " to be... 'out of place'..." "freak!" To that? I would say:

"I was no Prophet, neither was I a prophets 'sonne', but I was an heardman, and a gatherer of Sycomore fruit. And the LORD, or Jehovah, 'tooke' me as I followed the flocke, and the LORD, or Jehovah, said vnto me, 'Goe', prophecie vnto my people Israel." Amos VII.14-15

In so many words, Amos was saying: "Hey! I did NOT ask for this!" And there is NO WAY IN THE WORLD I EVER asked to be in the situation I am in right now... Notwithstanding, that is,  the fact that I asked God to "fling" certain people "into my life". I love what he seems to have done with that, though! I think he has put the ball in my court and told me to run with it! Hallelujah!

Again, though, circumspectness is UTTERLY called for! Especially knowing that certain people RESPECT me! And I value that! I love that! I do NOT take that for granted! I want them to know that! And to know that I will do whatever I can, to "answer the call" to being a man of honour, dignity, and valour!

Again! Whatever I do - I WILL... do it... "fair and square"... "above board"... "legitimately..." or "NOT AT ALL!" My prayer to God is: "Hold me! Preserve me! Compass me with favour as with a shield! And let me be... Me... Daniel Robbins... Please, in Jesus name, amen."

Love,

Daniel

"God shall bless us...

...and all the ends of the earth shall fear him." Psalm LXVII. That's what I wrote down in my journal. The question I was answering, was: what was I believing for; and that was the first thing that came to mind. I know that some people think we should not delude ourselves with visions of the world "getting better" with time. Some would say we should "get as many people saved" (from "Hel") as possible before we get raptured out and the tribulation begins. Honestly? The day I stopped thinking like that was such a happy day!

Now, I simply do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with my God (Micah 6:8), and take Psalm Sixty-Seven to the bank! AND Psalm Seventy-Two, AND Psalm Eighty-Five... AND Psalm One Hundred and Nineteen! I am listening to it right now! I could be watching it, but somehow watching myself recite that Psalm (Part 1, Part 2) doesn't make as much sense as listening to it. It is good to listen to it, though, because it allows me to relive the experience of recording the video(s).

See, I had already wanted to record myself reciting that Psalm for a REALLY long time! I mean, I had waited... and waited... and waited... and practiced... and practiced... and practiced. Then, my second cousin offered to let me use his Macintosh Computer to record the Psalm. And then I go to record it? And I make at least two mistakes! Maybe even three! Because my second cousin and I worked to "sound record over" two of them! And I just realized that there is still a mistake in the second video.

In fact, as soon as I made it, I knew I had made it! And I paused! It was so frustrating! Finally, I simply decided I had better go ahead and finish the Psalm. It is one of the reasons I may look and sound depressed. It is because I was!

That Psalm? It will suck up WHATEVER time and energy you care to POUR into it! You think you know it, but then you take a long walk on a hill (which I did a few weeks ago). Seriously! I thought I knew the thing, already!

It reminded me of the fire I found on a beach one night, on an island in South Korea. I kept that fire going for a night, a day, and another night (at least as much of that night as I could endure! It was a lot colder that second night; so I had to get up and get moving across the 12km causeway back to "시흥" (Shi-Hihng)!)

During that night, day, and night, I burned so much wood... It was absolutely "heavenly heavy". It is one of those experiences that makes me SO thankful God had not given me a wife, as I had wanted him to, yet. I still remember a Korean man learning of all the places I had visited and lived, and he said I was "lucky". Me? "Lucky"? I asked him if he had a family. He said, "Yes". I thought, "He has a family, and he thinks I am lucky?" Well, looking back on being on that beach, I can at least see where he was coming from.

I mean, I would go find logs that were so heavy, I couldn't lift them! I had to DRAG them over to the fire. Some of them were soaking wet! It didn't matter! I would put them on the fire and watch the water evaporate out of the portion of the log that was on the fire! (Often, they were too big to fit completely on the fire! Even better! Then I could push the unburned part of the long into the fire once the middle section had burned...)

But wait! THAT part! The log actually burning? Completely! Oh! Did that ever seem to TAKE for ever! Again, the water would have to evaporate. Then, the burning of the log could begin. It would actually seem like nothing was happening! After all, I couldn't see the underside of the log.

Good thing I had all night, though! AND all the next day! AND a good part of the following night! Because I RAN OUT OF WOOD (I.e. I had to walk so far to get it, that it was, for all intents and purposes, out of reach)! On that beach! And I burned A LOT OF WOOD! I think it might have been over a thousand pounds of wood! CONSUMED! How did it happen, though? If it seemed to be taking for ever at the time, then how could hundreds if not over a thousand pounds of woods be changed into heat and light energy, smoke, ashes, and mere embers!

T-I-M-E! That log? The underside would slowly but surely start to glow, and "snap, crackle, and pop". Eventually, the log would start to CHANGE! Break apart. Over and over, I would work with logs to get them to the point where I could tap them with my stoking stick and... actually... NOTHING! "Not yet!" It would be as "hard as a rock"! And I had already been working with it for SUCH a long time!

THAT! Is how it felt to walk in Nose Hill Park a few weeks ago and find that I STILL didn't know Psalm 119 as well as I would love to. I was STILL discovering "HARD SPOTS". Spots where I didn't know it as well as I thought I did. When you've been practicing something like that for as long as I have, that is a rude awakening!

Back to that fire, though? EVERY ONE OF THOSE LOGS got BURNED! COMPLETELY! They did NOT stay "hard" for ever! There DID come a time where I tapped them with that stoking stick, and they CRUMBLED into EMBERS! Not one of those logs "stayed hard". It seemed like they would, but they didn't!

That gives me hope - that I am going to "tight-rope-walk" COMFORTABLY through Psalm 119 - able to go as fast or slow as I want (not "rushing through" certain verses, unsure of my footing). "Soft". "Crumbled". "Red hot" - emitting heat, warmth, light, and revelation. All, of course, in God's good time.

I know, I talk a lot about certain personal dreams - and they do mean a lot to me. One time, I read that one ought not to marry someone they can live "with", but rather someone they cannot live withOUT! See, when I remember that? It really does actually become a no-brainer! At least, it does, in my opinion.

In particular, it is the love, I cannot live without!

Love,

Daniel

More reality; but, also, reassurance

Today was rough! Exhausting! One thing I will say, though? I am determined to put point loads for those stairs; and the software SHOULD allow me to do that. It seems, though, that if there is anything causing the errors, it is those point loads, for me, in particular. They should be there, though! So, at least for me, they are going to be! It's tough slugging, though!

I have a lot to learn, designing floors; but I had a lot to learn when I began designing roofs! And I have learned it! To the point where I am more comfortable with roofs THAN floors! They were saying, today, though, that roof design is far more complicated than floor design. Good to know - it is just that I am feeling overwhelmed right now.

It made me think: I can just imagine what marriage is going to be like! I know - overwhelming! But - hey! So is over four decades of being alone! Also, I am determined to get it right - even if that involves risk! Even harrowing risk! Risk that scares the wits out of ME! Oh, well! When you've been waiting that long, you do NOT want to get it wrong! And - overwhelming though I know it will be - I am determined that it will be a dream come true; for her AND me!

See, when I had a significant other, I sure did make some mistakes; but I also gave her the royal treatment! Bringing her flowers at work... Her (male) work mates saying I was making the rest of them look bad... I did it right! That's the kind of man I am! I go all out! I look forward to someone being able to finally benefit from that.

I've been thinking: if someone were to write the story of my life, I could just see the reviews!

"Makes Samson look like saint..."
"Makes John Newton look like 'Bambie'..."
"Makes 'real character' look like 'Daffy Duck'..."
"And... "Makes 'exotic' look like... '51,733,291,156,460' '3,150,921', '2,033,886,216,566' '-268' '1,910,754,703,859'..."

Not that I want to "stand in the place of great men" - simply that I might as well enjoy the uniqueness of my journey! It has taken its toll! As it may have already shown in this post: I was really feeling exhausted and overwhelmed today - and I'm not married yet! And, yes, I am actually thankful for that, on one hand - but I remember a friend saying to me, "You're going to be like me one of these days - fourty, and unmarried..." I mean, that wasn't supposed to happen! It, however, is happenING! It does hurt! Even if I am sleeping "on the floor I've made"! It's still painful! I mean - I remember being thirty-ONE in South Korea, and "being mad" that I couldn't get married yet!

Well! I sure have learned not to "be mad" about not being married - but I still have to confess: this was NOT supposed to happen! I know! When you're already married, you might even be tempted to grow weary of it! My two cents, though? Please! Don't! Some people cannot seem to get there! I can't! At least not so far! NOT, though that I am desperate, or that I EVER will be! (Psalm XXXIV.10) For the same reason that I will never be offended! (Psalm CXIX.165)

Now? I find myself looking ahead, and not knowing where to go with my dreams except for "forward" - but then I try to tell people about what I am thinking! And, guess what! They're not exactly supportive! And I can even understand why! But how can I try and be somebody that I am not! I have TRIED to get to know people my age! OVER AND OVER! Seriously! Who has tried harder than me? I don't think many people have! I have been RELENTLESS! And, God? Abba? Please! Remember me! I have gone all the way! And I would like to posit that I have been a success! Winning the '70,768,771,650' '46' '-117,461,409,011', in particular, is a humbling reward for spending and being spent for other people, and, in particular, the children thou hast brought into my life. I put it all on the line for one, in particular - because I knew I simply had to. Countless people tried to talk me out of doing so, but I would not be deterred. I did NOT count my life precious; and I recall that Jesus said that he that loseth his life for his sake shall find it. God, thou hast said, "them that honour me, I will honour." I wait on thee to do as thou hast said, in Jesus' name, amen.

Daniel

Reality!... - Edited and revised

Talk about testing your resolve to be happy and have a good attitude. I mean, there was training, but then there was sitting down with the software and doing practice jobs at work! A rude awakening, to say the least; but at least I am still alive! And expecting to be! "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD, or Jehovah!" Psalm 118:17. My sister's young friend, however, is expected to pass away any day now, sadly. Please remember her in prayer! See - she has one daughter, but it does not look like she will get married (again, seeing she is expected to pass away soon). I sure am thankful I can - of course, God willing - look forward to marriage... and then children. It is a struggle, but God sure is providing "tokens for good" all along the way (see the last verse of Psalm 86), and I thank him for them!

Sincerely,

Daniel

P.S. I want to acknowledge one more thing: if reality has to dictate I not get married by my next birthday - though I will cross that bridge if I come to it - I accept that. After all: "The lot is cast into the lap, but the whole disposing thereof is of the LORD, or Jehovah." Proverbs 16

1. Is, a world, it, smaller, still!...

...Went to school with "-7,160,912.1 -121,799.1":.../
...(Long time me no drive a "-3,148,834.1").../
"Yea!", I say, "Hooray for '68,595,701.1'")


"-150,382,010.1"

"Small World" is right!

"-7,160,912.1 -121,799.1". Does that name ring a bell? I have been training with him for floor design at the Sheraton Hotel in Calgary for the last two days. He works in Newton, Manitoba. Today, I told him I had worked at Carberry Bible Camp - and he said he had gone there as a camper. As a matter of fact: He said he remembered a counselor at that camp, whom he considered his HERO! He rode a motorbike, played the guitar, and (I think he also mentioned) was a lifeguard! Then he mentioned his name! "1,762,777,516,323.1"! Of course, I call him "2,418,074,544.1", but either way, I pray he will know he was considered a hero to someone I just happened to meet here in Calgary! Hooray for "48,040,986,434,880.1 2,418,074,544.1"! Let me say this: he sure "caught me when I was falling"! And he held me tight! And that is going to get remembered! Bigtime!

Love,

Daniel

In Tears... Again - revised... again!

It is has been years since I saw this video, but - as I have heard it said - "It gets me every time!" It sure does! See, I've got a friend with a birthday today; and thinking of her made me think of this video. Therefore, I decided to look it up and watch it again. I found not only it, but also related videos, which kept the stream of tears flowing. See, I have to say, in all honesty, I have no idea how I even got here. "Here?" Yes - "Here!" Where I am in life! I even have to admit: I doubt I would have chosen to be here, if I had known ahead of time that I was HEADED "here". "Here", however, I "am", nonetheless! And - again - even though I would never have chosen to be here, I do love it! I mean - I'm glad no one else has to be here! I would never wish it on anyone else! But it is still a blessed place to be. It is just that - as Paul said - I have this constant sentence of death upon me (he wrote about this in II Corinthians 1). See, I know I have to be prepared to "Die on a dime" all over again. By "die on a dime", I mean: see that what I have in mind is NOT what is meant to be happening on my time-table and accepting that fact. I had to do that in the tenth month of last year (also known as "October"). In a moment of time, I put myself into my friends' shoes and asked myself: "If I were them, would I do this?..." The answer was painfully obvious: "No way!" Therefore - again - I "died on a dime". I mean, from my perspective, I had a LOT of "forward momentum" and - to say the least -"high hopes". The Golden Rule, however, left me with no alternative, so -right there and then - I died to what I wanted! And what I love is: I found favour that day! And that is EXACTLY what I had prayed to find. That is why I stand ready and willing to "die on a dime" as many times as necessary!


Here is the video:


http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=DYPKYPNX


...


Wow! More tears!


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/19/one-heart-movie-gainesvil_n_1974895.html


...I discovered that they are even making a movie about that game!


http://www.oneheartmovie.com/index.html


I would like to tell the particular story that made me remember this video. Camp. Bible Camp. By the way, I even recall how I CAME to work at that camp. The year before that summer (of 1995) "Out of the blue", my father told me that "John Loge" was interested in me being his "Assistant Director" at "Carberry"! I still remember thinking: "Where did this even come from?" John later told me, though, that he had perceived that I had gifts he thought should be put to use. He told me that he wanted to teach me to be the director. And that is exactly what he did, throughout the summer. Little by little, he "gave me the reins" more and more.


Finally, the day came that he announced two things at the morning staff meeting: who would be the assistant director for the following two weeks; and who would be the director for the final week (after having one week of being a counselor). After that meeting, plenty of people congratulated the person who was being "promoted" to Assistant Director for the next two weeks.


The person who was going to be "Director" for the final week, however, found himself left to "head upstairs" to his room - which he did. I did. One person remembered me, though. She came up to me. I don't know if I was coming back down stairs, or still heading up to my room - but I sure remember the young lady that came up to me and congratulated me on being allowed to direct the final week. I will never forget it - ever! I go back to it - over, and over! It is like an anchor! A light I could see at the end of the tunnel of "life". Life can be very brutal! Even the simple fact that we reap what we sow!


I mean, some of the seeds I have sown, I am glad for - but not all! And life has a seemingly relentless way of reminding us of that fact! I mean, not everyone likes me, or respects me. But I am also happy to say: Not everyone forgets me, either! And not everyone forgot me that day! I want to say: "Thank you!"... and "I love both of you!" You have both not forgotten me - but even taken seriously my dreams! Even the timeframes I have had in mind! Not everyone does that! I have been told to "Do something about" my situation. That "whatever I am doing, it obviously isn't working!" To "not put timeframes on God". But not by you! You have simply taken me at face value, and even given me the benefit of the doubt! (By the way: that means you get to (as I have said before) "call me off" from anything you see me believing, which you cannot support.) You have "spoken life" to me, over and over again. So - again: "Thank you!" and "I love you (plural)!"


Daniel


P.S. Here is the next song that came up on "You-Tube" - I have never "danced" to it, but I am sure one could get a great workout dancing to it!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8VoUYtx0kw

...Wait! Here's MANDISA dancing to it! I LOVE this performance! I think Mandisa is SUCH a winner! And is it ever contagious! And here is a video of people dancing to it! And HERE is yet ANOTHER!

Happy Birthday, dear friend!

Very Timely - edited

"Letting it die" was timely. It was the day before "Good Friday." On that day, I went to church with my Mormon friend, to his wife's Baptist church(!) Then I went back with them and helped them with cleaning up their basement. While doing so, I discovered that they had "We are Marshall" - a movie I had heard good things about.


Then, we went upstairs and watched Joel Osteen's message from Yankee Stadium in New York City. I had already seen it, and wanted to show it to Russell (my friend). (It was great as usual). After watching that, he said to go get "We are Marshall". I was amazed at how movING that movIE really was! I was in tears very early into it! I was especially moved by the part where they are holding a meeting to disband the team, and in walks one of the FOUR surviving football players (into the CLOSED DOOR meeting), and is told he is not supposed to be there. He, however, points to the side window and says, "They are the ones I want you to hear". And all these people are standing out there, and they start raising alternate fists, and shouting "We are... MARSHALL!... We are... MARSHALL!" Over and over again! And here is the president of the University, not knowing what to do, explaining to the young man that he simply doesn't see how he could possibly even try to do this (I.e. continue trying to have a football team). The student replies, "I would suggest starting with a head coach" (see, at that point, they don't HAVE a coach... or ANY other staff! In fact, they have, again, FOUR NON-FRESHMEN players (and non-freshmen are NOT allowed to play! And one of the four cannot bring himself to play the next season! So that brings them down to THREE!)


I mean, talk about timely! After having had to let my dream die AGAIN; I see that movie! I was so inspired. Inspired to believe for resurrection. For a miracle. Apart from a miracle, I admit, there is nothing for me to do but carry on and not even lose a wink of sleep over the matter! And that is what I will do! Apart from the miracle. But unless I come to that bridge, I am not crossing it! I believe in miracles! And that movie documents one! Such an inspiring one!


I also LOVE the way the coach they finally DO find; (and they hardly find him!) INSISTS on persevering for an exception to the "no-freshmen" rule! I LOVE it! I mean, the president of the University TRIES to explain to the coach that there is no use trying to get the exception anymore, because they have tried and tried, and they are simply not approving it! I LOVE what the coach says at that point! I know what I plan to do! What that president did! Show up! Be ready to put on my show! And even be ready to - if I may - "-9318.1"!


"-9318.1" for what? "-105,027.1"! Even "54,012,198,671,094.1"! I know I would need it - so my plan is to ask for it, again, if I may. My only prayer is that doing so would not put anyone in an awkward, and uncomfortable place. I do not want to ever be anything other than a blessing. I simply do not know where to go with all of this, except forward; as long as, again, I may. By the way, I sent a package in the mail, which I am almost certain will arrive early; and I pray it will be a blessing, in Jesus' name.


Amen,


Daniel

That time again...

...I realized, this morning, that is was time to "let it die" again - not something I relish by any means; but if I put myself in my friends' shoes, it becomes obvious. I know this is what I would want if I were them; and I am determined to let the golden rule tell me what to do, even in situations like this. I also derive consolation from the fact that I have had experience with this. Dying. And I have had the privilege of being able to be a source of refreshment to others as a result. Therefore, I know it is not in vain. Very agonizing, but not in vain.

Sincerely,

Daniel