Do You Know What?... (Revised_

... I do not want you to think I am "5,133,743". I admit, though: I am at your mercy on that one. I know - at times - that I have asked for it (i.e. asked for being thought of in that way). And when I get the opportunity, I know I still have an apology to make - but I am not going to push or rush it. By the way, I LOVE the thought of BEING thought of as: "3,118,087,924" - especially in a good sense. I know: attitude is key in making the difference between the latter and the former. Another key, however, I know, is mercy - and I have had that. LOTS of it. Thank you for that. I love you for that. I would not be where I am today without it. By the way, I had to let my dream die AGAIN two days ago! I may have to YET again - and I accept that. I feel like I would do ANYTHING rather than make you think, again, that I am "5,133,743". Even let this dream die for good. I would need help with that, though. It is stubborn - and I am actually glad that it is. That is, of course, as long as it is actually legitimate. How in the world could I believe that a dream like this is legitimate? Somehow. And - admittedly - with fear and trembling. And - yet again - knowing that I don't want to be thought of as "5,133,743". Delightfully "-2,879,815,977,074.1" with a capital: "-10.1"? "-78,883,448,783,388.1"!




Having said all that, I AM continuing to do what I can to get to know people who are at least somewhere near my age; and I will continue to. I sure do not know what I day may bring forth - but if there is one thing I am determined that you are not going to get out of me, it is: "1,229,346,939/134,191".




See, I was talking to one of "you" on the phone once - months ago, and it came out in the wash that, not only had I caused "you" to think I was "5,133,743", but I had actually passed that point a long time ago. I mourn that realization - because, as ironic as it may seem, I do not want to be thought of that way. That is what was on my heart today.


Now: one thing I am adamant about is that I will not worry - even if you think of me in the way I do not want. I do admit, however, I definitely don't want that; and I pray that it will not happen, in Jesus' name. Also: my nieces and nephews (some adoptive) sure don't seem to think of me in that way - and I am very thankful for that. What's that verse in Psalm 8:2, again? "Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength, because of thine enemies; that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger." When Jesus quoted that verse he rendered it: "Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings, thou hast perfected praise." Can six nieces (three adoptive, again) and three nephews be wrong?




Sincerely,


Daniel