Want to know how I came to be the born again believer that I am today? The above article was about as critical a turning point as any. I will never again participate in "pushing Jesus" on anyone - and I ask that it never be done to me again; with all due respect. Not that I have never done it myself. I vividly remember unknowingly doing this to a friend in South Korea. I even had him saying, "I believe... I believe..." Well! Was I ever pleased! I started planning his baptism for him! Announcing his conversion to others at the "Church" (or Assembly). Then a Korean-speaking member of that congregation let me in on a little secret. Hyeon-Sooh did not really believe, after all - he had only said that in order to please me.
Then it started! The onslaught of, "Oh!... Daniel!... Please do not be disappointed!..." What was so unbearable was: I did not TELL him that I was not disappointed!... In fact, I KEPT TELLING HIM that I was NOT!... And yet he "KEPT SAYING IT!"... "Oh!... Daniel!... Please do not be disappointed!..." Finally, I asked him, "Why?... Do you keep?... Saying that...?"
Then he updated me on the colour of my face: "WHITE!" I am so glad that day is over. As well as the day he explained to me, over brother Bae's cell phone, that my religious zeal was (regrettably) a cause of regret for him. He explained that, in Korea, they have freedom of religion. I was simply trying to be a blessing, and yet here he felt I was pushing Jesus on him. I meant well - I just had to realize I was not doing well.
Saul of Tarsus had this experience on the road to Damascus in Acts chapter 9. Fast forward to today? I think that, ironically, a lot of people who think they are "pleasing Jesus" are actually persecuting him. I sure felt persecuted! Still do! And all I am doing is seeking to FOLLOW Jesus' example in refusing to play along with man-made traditions that are anything but helpful.
I love the movie: "Courageous"; but there is one scene I have learned to go use the washroom during. It only took one viewing of the movie to learn this. After that, I either use the washroom or plug my ears. Again, I know the movie producers meant well in including that in their movie, but I cannot describe how angry that scene makes me. "For the zeal of thine house, hath eaten me up - and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me." Psalm 69
One other book I did not mention in this post, before, is "Hinds Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. I read that book back in 2009, and was so glad I finally had. In fact, I did Internet research on her, and learned that she had become a "2,268,084,002,236.1/-3,476". It was then that I realized these people existed! They were actually out there! And they actually believed that! And they thought they were right.
At that point, however, I had the mindset: "OK... ye actually exist... but nobody - and I mean nobody - buys that... and I don't want that kind of "2,268,084,002,236" rejection! So I backfiled it. I moved on. It was only years later that I read the "Rich Man and Lazarus" article, shared above. And, as I was reading it, it dawned on me that: "Great!... He's a '2,268,084,002,236.1/-3,476', too! Another one of those... OK, but, do I really want this kind of reproach?..."
Here's what I love, though: even though I have had fun identifying myself as a "2,268,084,002,236.1/-3,476", I have realized something: I love "2,268,084,002,236.1/-93,846", but I am so much more comfortable with being, as I said earlier: a "-90,889,628,616,503.1 -129,042,548,680.1"! In fact, at work, my boss, Cuong, said he thought I was a devout CATHOLIC! Then he corrected himself and said, "Christian", but even at that point, I insisted on further clarification: "-90,889,628,616,503.1 -129,042,548,680.1".
I have also, however, these days, been recalling something I once said to a friend I was visiting in Toronto. It was obvious he did not respect me, to say the least. And he was making this known. And I was not saying anything. And he WANTED me to say something... So I said...
"...-333...70,769,007,746..."
| -773,771,544.1 |
Daniel
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